Readers will be familiar with the way my warped mind works, so now that I’m in Istanbul again, to follow our visit to a wood-turner in Tophane, I can’t help imagining taking brunch with a celebrated rapper near the Galata bridge, as reported in the local press:

Menemen with Eminem in Eminönü

Delighting as I do in all manifestations of the Terpsichorean muse, following my new acquaintance with Turkish–German rap [Yeah right—Ed.], I would gladly share a bowl of menemen with the great man himself—here he is live in Istanbul in 2012:

And it’s not just me—many men * as well as Onumonu, striker of the Nigerian woman’s football team, might manage a minimal menemen with Eminem in Eminönü.

For a roundup of wacky headlines, both real and imaginary, click here.

* Gender-neutral language sacrificed at the altar of euphony—Ed.