As I approach 70 (WTF), at last I think I can begin using this line with impunity:

Quote investigator researches the genesis of the saying with typical aplomb. The germ of the idea can be traced back to around 1770, but the precise formulation was first recorded in 1951, with candidates such as Billie Noonan, Adolph Zukor, Eubie Blake, and Mickey Mantle.

Cf. “If I had all the money I’ve spent on drink, I’d spend it on drink“.

On a related note,

What do we want?
More research on Alzheimer’s!
When do we want it?
Want what?

For the other end of Life’s Journey, see here.