Confirming Kate Fox’s anthropological observation that the creative love of wordplay evinced by tabloid headlines is one of rather few things of which the British can be proud, how about this one spotted today (about a table-tennis player involved in an altercation, you understand):
Actually, a quick search online shows that this has quite a history. Once freed of the petty constraint of describing an actual event (which has seldom held the tabloids back), it can even expand into the headline reporting a fight involving a giant ape at a table-tennis club karaoke night:
King Kong ping-pong sing-song ding-dong
For more on King Kong, see here; and for “Xi sells seashells by the seashore”, here. For a related headline that opens my haiku on Morris dancing, see here; see also Nut screws washers and bolts, and much more under the headlines tag.