Here’s another story from the great Arthur Smith. I can only find a truncated version online, so I’m going to do an expanded paraphrase that I’m sure I heard him tell on radio:

Arthur had somehow got to know Kray henchman “Mad” Frankie Fraser. One day when they meet up, Frankie goes,

“Hello Arfur, wot you up to then?”
“Well Frankie—funnily enough, I’m doing Hamlet next month!”
With avuncular concern, Frankie goes,
“You don’t have to do ‘im, I’ll do ‘im for yer—where’s ‘e live?”

This almost links up with the musos’ favourite prison examiner story.