As I try to master more Bach on the erhu, suspending my disbelief, it’s good to be able to use the muso’s classic excuse

It was in tune when I bought it…

Also handy is

It’ll be all right on the night.

Or the immortal words (and notes) of Inspector Clouseau,

Better than ever!

That’s somewhat reminiscent of my Irish Heifetz story.

And then there’s the comment often on our lips after an underwhelming gig gets an inexplicable ovation:

Of all the concerts I’ve ever done in my life… that was one of them,

reminding me of the quote (typically attributed to Groucho)

I’ve had a wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.

For more putdowns, see here.

See also Bernard Bresslaw’s classic line in The Ladykillers:

Well, I didn’t really study any place, Lady… I just sort of… picked it up.