The Catechism of Orchestral Cliché

As threatened, here is my very own niche sequel to the Myles na Gopaleen Catechism of Cliché—another penetrating piece of WAM ethnography, if I may say so.

On what descending act of flagellation will you see me?
The downbeat.
And not long afterwards, at what reduplicated den of refreshment?
The double bar (“Sounds like my kind of place”, nods Myles.)
On the reasonable assumption that the imbibing of a certain liquid refreshment will be de rigueur there, what is your only man?
A pint of Plain. (I don’t mind if I do.)
Where, you ask me, can I come and do a Messiah next Monday night?
In Scunthorpe.
And what is there not?
A fee.
But what will there be, pray?
A jolly good tea (scowls).
And upon what nocturnal occasion will it be all right?
On the night.
At what relative labial experience did the Maestro take that Scherzo?
Quite a lick.
And if I ask you, from what angular body-part does the Maestro not know his arse?
His elbow.
Finally, where is there a cheque?
In the post.


Meanwhile, for the classicist (manqué or otherwise), another (“real”) entry from the Catechism of Cliché:

Quando timeo Danaos?
Et dona ferentes.

The enticing Dona Ferentes, along with Timothy Danaos, also play a cameo role in At-swim-two-birds, where they are the two Greek lawyers at the trial of Dermot Trellis [any relation to Ivy?—Ed.] for authorial autocracy . Non-nationals?!

6 thoughts on “The Catechism of Orchestral Cliché

  1. Pingback: Myles: a glowing paean, or The life of O’Brien | Stephen Jones: a blog

  2. Pingback: The Catechism of Chinese Cliché | Stephen Jones: a blog

  3. Pingback: Muso speak: excuses and bravado | Stephen Jones: a blog

  4. Pingback: Ruin an Irish book in one letter | Stephen Jones: a blog

  5. Pingback: Proof-reading | Stephen Jones: a blog

  6. Pingback: A personal lexicon | Stephen Jones: a blog

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s