As threatened, here is my very own niche sequel to the Myles na Gopaleen Catechism of Cliché—another penetrating piece of WAM ethnography, if I may say so.

On what descending act of flagellation will you see me?
The downbeat.

And not long afterwards, at what reduplicated den of refreshment?
The double bar [“Sounds like my kind of place”, nods Myles.]

On the reasonable assumption that the imbibing of a certain liquid refreshment will be de rigueur there, what is your only man?
A pint of Plain. [I don’t mind if I do.]

Where, you ask me, can I come and do a Messiah next Monday night?
In Scunthorpe.

And what is there not?
A fee.

But what will there be, pray?
A jolly good tea [scowls].

And upon what nocturnal occasion will it be all right?
On the night.

At what relative labial experience did the Maestro take that Scherzo?
Quite a lick.

And if I ask you, from what angular body-part does the Maestro not know his arse?
His elbow.

Finally, where is there a cheque?
In the post.

See also Endeavour.

* * *

Meanwhile, for the classicist (manqué or otherwise), another (“real”) entry from the Catechism of Cliché:

Quando timeo Danaos?
Et dona ferentes.

The enticing Dona Ferentes, along with Timothy Danaos, also play a cameo role in At-swim-two-birds, where they are the two Greek lawyers at the trial of Dermot Trellis [any relation to Ivy?—Ed.] for authorial autocracy . Non-nationals?!