Following the Isle of Wight gambit, even the Grumpy Luddite may concur that, like dentistry, departure boards at tube and bus stops are evidence of Human Progress:
1 Cockfosters 4 min
2 Shangri-La eternity
For my haiku on the 94 bus, see here.
If you are so ill-fated as to have to fill in a form online, warnings of how long it will take you to complete the whole laborious procedure are almost, but not quite, helpful.
To complete this form you will also need
- A Zen-like engagement with the mundane
- Three large G&Ts
- Utility bills dating back to the Magna Carta
- A mature sense of long-term goals to overcome your sense of helplessness
- A Squeezy bottle and an empty egg-carton,* a chainsaw, and a well-thumbed copy of The Higher common sense by the Abbé Fausse-Maigre
Such over-sharing also is now infecting articles on academia.edu:
- time required to read this article
- time before you lose the will to live
- number of occasions you will think “Do people really make a living out of writing this kinda stuff?”
- time before you go back to looking at cute pictures of cats on Twitter
And on a Terpsichorean note:
- number of lifetimes required to master the depths of the Bach cello suites or Indian raga.
* Potent memes from the heady days of Blue Peter.
