On behalf of “cultured” outsiders (see the joke after the final credits of my film, and my book, p.ix), the Li family Daoists sometimes make an effort to speak the Yanggao version of putonghua Standard Chinese, whose acronym is Yangpu. It doesn’t bear much more resemblance to the standard language than my own crap Chinese—which by the same process I call Lunpu, short for Lundun putonghua (London Standard Chinese). When meeting Confucius Institutes, I boldly seek to upgrade this to Lunyu, “The Confucian Analects”. Hey ho.